In the realm of Gestalt therapy, the concept of “contact” serves as a cornerstone for understanding human interaction and personal growth. Contact is more than just physical touch; it’s about the authentic engagement with ourselves, others, and the world around us. Yet, as we navigate this intricate dance of connection, we often encounter what Gestalt therapists refer to as resistances to contact – They’re like shadows lurking in the corners of our minds, whispering doubts and fears. But fear not, for in shedding light on these shadows, we unveil the path to deeper connection and self-awareness.

Among these resistances, three key players stand out: Introjection, Projection, and Desensitization. Each holds its own power to influence our experiences and interactions, shaping the way we perceive ourselves and others..

Introjection: When the Inner Critic Takes the Lead

Imagine growing up in a world where the air is thick with expectations – from family, friends, society. We soak up these expectations like sponges, internalizing them until they become a part of our very essence. This is introjection at play – swallowing whole beliefs and attitudes without stopping to chew on them.

We’ve all heard that inner critic, right? That nagging voice that whispers, “You’re not good enough,” or “You should be more like so-and-so.” But here’s the kicker: those beliefs aren’t carved in stone. They’re more like clay, waiting to be molded by your hands. 

As a holistic psychotherapist, I’ve seen firsthand how introjection can sabotage our ability to connect authentically. When we constantly filter our experiences through the lens of others’ expectations, we lose touch with our true selves, relegating our needs and desires to the sidelines.

So, take a moment to identify what some of your beliefs are so you can discover what rings true for you today?  What needs to be tossed out like yesterday’s leftovers? It’s your life – you get to choose.

Projection: The Mirror of Self-Reflection

Now, let’s talk about projection – the art of seeing ourselves in others, whether we like it or not. It’s like holding up a mirror and catching a glimpse of our own shadows dancing in the background. Ever found yourself judging someone else’s behavior a little too harshly? Bingo – that’s projection in action. You may also recognize when you externalize blame or react defensively. These, too, can be signals that you are projecting.

But here’s the thing: those judgments say more about us than they do about the other person. They’re like signposts pointing toward unexplored territory within ourselves. So, next time you catch yourself pointing fingers, pause for a moment. What does that reflection reveal about you? What might you be not wanting to take responsibility for in your life? Embrace the discomfort, and you might just uncover hidden treasures.

Desensitization: Numbing the Noise

In a world buzzing with noise and distraction, it’s easy to slip into autopilot – to check out and numb ourselves to avoid discomfort. We scroll mindlessly through social media, binge-watch TV shows, anything to escape the intensity of our emotions.

But here’s the truth: life is messy. It’s meant to be felt – the highs, the lows, and everything in between. So, instead of hitting the mute button, lean into the discomfort. Take a deep breath and anchor yourself in the present moment. Feel the ground beneath your feet, the air filling your lungs. It’s in those moments of presence that true connection blossoms.

Finding Wisdom in Avoidance

It’s important to acknowledge that there’s wisdom in avoiding contact at times. Sometimes, it’s a necessary act of self-preservation, a signal that we need to set boundaries or prioritize our well-being. However, it’s when avoidance becomes a default mode of operating that it hinders our growth and inhibits our ability to fully engage with life.

Bringing Intention and Mindfulness to the Dance

So, how can we begin to unravel these gestalt resistances and cultivate deeper contact with ourselves and others? The journey starts with awareness – bringing mindful attention to the ways in which introjection, projection, and desensitization show up in our lives.

Here are some small steps you can take over the next week to practice bringing awareness to these resistances:

1. Mindful Check-Ins: Set aside a few minutes each day to check in with yourself. How are you feeling? What thoughts are swirling in your mind? No judgment, just observation.
2. Reflective Journaling: Keep a journal to capture your thoughts and feelings throughout the day. Pay particular attention to moments of projection – times when you find yourself reacting strongly to someone else’s behavior.
3. Sensory Awareness: Engage your senses in the present moment. Take a walk outside and notice the sights, sounds, and sensations around you. Practice being fully present without the need to distract or numb yourself.
4. Compassionate Self-Talk: Cultivate a sense of self-compassion by offering yourself kindness and understanding. When you notice the inner critic rearing its head, counteract it with words of encouragement and affirmation.

Remember, the journey toward greater self-awareness is ongoing, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Be patient with yourself as you navigate the twists and turns of your inner landscape, and trust that every step forward brings you closer to a more authentic and fulfilling way of being.