Series Overview:

I’m deeply passionate about the journey of reparenting. While the name might suggest it’s solely about our parental connections, its essence lies in nurturing our relationship with ourselves. Through this process, I’ve found that not only does our self relationship flourish, but our ability to parent exponentially improves, along with virtually all other relationships. Reparenting enables us to enter relationships from a place of inner fulfillment, no longer seeking validation or care externally.

My journey of self-discovery began roughly ten years ago at my initial gestalt training workshop hosted by the Pennsylvania Gestalt Center. Despite years of traditional talk therapy prior to this, I found little progress; misdiagnosed and medicated, the underlying relational trauma remained unaddressed. However, as I continued on my healing journey, I found gestalt therapy and reparenting to be symbiotic. The insights gained from reparenting complemented the gestalt principles, profoundly embedding them within my being. Through dedicated practice, I’ve cultivated a deeper understanding of these concepts, fostering significant growth and healing within myself. Reparenting, I’ve learned, is not a destination but an ongoing journey—one that I continue to nurture and fortify, as we can choose to do in any important relationship.

Stepping back to observe our relationship with ourselves offers insight into its complexity. As my mentor once mused, imagine a tiny version of me perched on your shoulder, privy to every internal dialogue throughout your day. Would I have a positive experience? Regrettably, my answer at the time, without a doubt, was a resounding no. My internal dialogue was rife with nasty criticism, limiting beliefs, and unwarranted comparisons. This was how I was providing for myself. Yet, I’ve come to realize that these inner voices, though often unkind, are parts of me that were borne from a place of innocence, fashioned during my formative years. These parts were attempting to guide, protect, and fulfill my needs, albeit through the lens of a vulnerable child. They did the best they could, and they are living in the subconscious, unaware that I am now an adult with newfound skills, capabilities, and opportunities for support. 

Viewing our relationship with ourselves through the lens of a parent/child dynamic can offer clarity. Within us exists an inner child and inner parents, embodying both maternal and paternal energies. Lack of awareness regarding these internal dynamics can lead to self-criticism or emotional absence. Reparenting, therefore, involves tuning into the desires and needs of our inner child and addressing them with empathy and care. Healthy personal growth is fostered when these needs are acknowledged and met. Yet, even in optimal circumstances, a child’s needs may remain unfulfilled, prompting the adoption of alternative coping mechanisms—termed ‘creative adjustments.’ Rather than assigning blame to external sources, reparenting emphasizes personal accountability in the present moment. It entails nurturing our inner child, providing the support necessary to heal past wounds, and fostering a life of fulfillment and balance.

In this series, I will delve into the concept of reparenting beginning with the inner child and then exploring the four fundamental pillars of reparenting: cultivating loving self-discipline, prioritizing self-care, embracing joy, and mastering emotional regulation. I invite you to join me as we explore this framework for attuning to and nurturing your inner child in a way you may have always longed for and that only you can provide.